4 posts tagged “dating”

So I was browsing around the internet last night, and I came across a personals website for Fort Campbell singles. Apparently, it's for the whole area..... Fort Campbell, KY, Hopkinsville, KY, and Clarksville, TN.

It's new, and it's a good idea. Sure, a lot of people go to the bars in Clarksville attempting to meet someone. But there are some of us that don't want to go to the bars to do that. So now there is a singles site. It's called Fort Campbell Personals and the website is http://www.ftcampbellpersonals.com/

Other than the bars, there really aren't a whole lot of ways for singles to connect around here. In Hopkinsville especially. Clarksville and Fort Campbell are so busy. It seems like there are a million people running in opposite directions. How can anyone make contact and take the time to get to know someone.

The website is free to register, place an ad, and browse other members. They've got blogs, audio, and video settings to upload things too.

So over the weekend, I placed a personal on nocheatersdate.com ....... 

I have actually seen it advertised several times on the show "Cheaters". But, I had completely forgotten about it. So last week my friend tells me if she were single, she'd place an ad on the no cheaters personals. So I went and checked it out. It seems good, but for my city there is not a lot of people. Probably because not everyone watches Cheaters. I only watch it every now and then.

What she says makes a lot of sense though. Even though it's not a guarantee that you are going to get a faithful person, at least you can try.

As a divorced parent, I have dated some recently. And wow is it hard. Things have really changed. Men are almost obsessed with how a woman's body looks. They don't want to see a natural body. They want to see a body that looks like an eighteen year olds.

It just astounds me how shallow most men have truly become. And what they are looking for.

Take example A: Example A is a divorced mom of 3. She works a lot and puts her kids first. She even makes every attempt to be a good Christian female. She's honest, funny, and affectionate. She is heavy set. Not extremely big, but nowhere little.

Example B: Example B has had 2 kids, but lost custody of both of them. She works, but is constantly switching jobs because she can't hold a job. She has bad teeth and has had to have most of them pulled. But she is slender. 5'4 about 110 pounds.

From what I have seen, heard, and experienced, most men would prefer B. Why? Because B, is extremely slender. It seems like everything falls under that.

I never thought I'd see the day where people were like this, and it's a really disappointing society. You will hear men complaining about a woman because she cheated and left them for another man. Then they will go right out again and fall into a relationship. They fall in love or lust with a woman's looks and don't care about the personality. It's all about the looks. Then they wonder why they are experiencing relationship problems?

Looks are the initial thing. But after that, someone's personality is going to carry it through. It's unbelievable the high expectations a lot of men put on a woman's appearance. They expect the woman to have kids and then have a flat and smooth stomach? Get real. I will say there are some really pretty women that are really great people. This post is not about them. This post is about the others.

As for me, well I've had 2 kids. One was a C-section. I am an average size "bbw". I've been told I'm very attractive, in my opinion, I would just describe myself as the girl next door. I've never going to be a ten, and I really don't care. The important thing is, I am overall happy in my own skin. I've had kids, I don't have a great flat stomach, and my butt is to flat, but it's all ok with me. Because it's my body and my choice. In my life, I have so much going on that how I look is the last consideration. There are so many more important things.

I'm not in any rush to settle down, because I don't want to settle for the wrong person. I thank God for the wisdom he has given me over the years in the matters of the heart. I thank God that I've learned from the things that have happened and not been shallow minded enough to always think it's the other person's fault. I think that is a big mistake a lot of men make. They always blame the woman instead of doing some serious soul searching. They don't take into account that maybe they chose the wrong person based on looks only. And it backfired.

In some ways, I am glad that I will never be the perfect ten. I want to be liked, loved, and respected for who I am on the inside. As time passes, my looks will change. Who I am essentially inside will not. I don't want every tom, dick, and harry hitting on me because of my looks. I want to be friends first with someone and see what can develop from that. God has granted me the wisdom to tell a man's intentions pretty fast, and for this I am truly thankful. Give me an old-fashioned guy anyday. These modern men really aren't worth the clothes they are wearing. And they have no idea what being a man really means.

I am a firm believer that what comes around goes around. For the men that always pass up the girls that don't look like supermodels, one day it will come back around on you. When they break your shallow and immature heart, just remember the ones you passed by because they didn't have the looks you were looking for. And for the women that kill themselves to try to portray themselves as the next Brittney Spears, give yourselves a break. If all it's going to land you is a guy that's crazy about your looks but not who you are inside, it's not even worth it. Live life for God, then yourself. In the end that's what matters anyhow.

Traits that I find truly attractive in a man There are qualities that I look for in a guy that are truly important for me. It's the same for everyone. And life has taught me that you have to have common ground with a boyfriend in order for it to ever be long term material.

1. Honesty......  Honesty isn't just telling the truth when you want to. It's telling the truth all the time. If you are doing something that you wouldn't admit to, then you shouldn't be doing it.

2. Attention..... This is another really important one. Two people in a relationship should have a true desire to show each other attention. If you find the tv more important then your significant other, then your partner deserves A LOT better than you.

3. Sex drive... I really hate to mention this one, but I think guys have the lower sex drive. I'm not just talking about how many times a day, but how good it is. A man can take sex from mediocre to great just by his attitude. I want a guy that's not just doing it, but someone that is really into it as well.

4. Kindness.......  If you have the desire to be mean to someone you are dating, why are you with them?

5. Respect .......  It's important to have admiration for someone you are with. If in your eyes they aren't a great person, you're either missing something or it's time to end the relationship.

6. Thoughtfullness........ This is something that I look for immediately. I want someone that is as thoughtful as I am. Someone that cares enough to think about something I like or someone that calls me just to call me.

I've nowhere near covered everything that's important to me, but I have covered the basics. By nature, I am a deep and reflective person. But I like excitement as well. I like exciting things. I'm passionate about many things. So I would never be happy with someone that is so self absorbed that they just don't notice these things. Or do them. I would be happiest with someone like myself.

A lot of marriages fail because of this. Two people fall in lust or love and they don't take the time to look beneath the surface. Half of them don't simply because they don't care and they want to live in the moment. Then a few months or few years later they hate the other person because they are getting a divorce after months of arguing and fighting.

This is not the kind of guy I want or the kind of relationship I want. I want someone that takes the time to look into my soul and truly sees everything I am. And then falls in love with me. Not someone that meets me, likes me, and just wants a relationship. In my eyes, that's not a true commitment. And it wouldn't last.

As a woman, I have to dodge the guys that are just looking to be involved. Because these guys don't think to the future. They think to the moment. They are lonely and want to be involved. But then a month later, a year later, reality sets in. And then it's a disaster. Guys like this look to blame everyone and everything else. They aren't facing up to the truth that they made the mistake. And sometimes hurt others in the process.