Even though these jokes don't apply to home-based professionals, they are still pretty funny! We all need a good laugh at one time or another.
A Marketing Manager got married to a woman who had previously been married eight times. On his wedding night, his wife informed him that she was still a virgin. This was her explanation:
The wife said sweetly to her new husband, "Now I am married to you, a man of marketing". The husband looked at his wife and simply said, "I know I have the product, I'm just not sure how to position it".
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Pierre de Fermat: I just don't have room here to give the full explanation.
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Social Worker: It crossed the road to be able to understand both sides.
An actuary: It looked in the file and that's what it did last year.
A consultant: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Our consulting firm, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), we helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive here was.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
Have you ever thought about getting into Orovo?
They have several products that I could see anyone making money with. In this day and age, many people take supplements. Orovo has ten superfood supplements that could work with just about anyone's dietary needs. And that can make you big money.
The product comes in capsule or liquid form. The liquid form is called SuperFruits Drink. They also have weight loss products, acne, muscle builders, and more. The other includes fiber pills, mood enhancement pills, and natural sleeping pills.
You make money by reselling these. For example, the regular Orovo retails for $80.00. The wholesale price is $39.99. You also make money by signing up other associates underneath you.
Other products that I think would sell well are the acne and weight loss products. By watching tv, you can see that many people suffer from acne. The Acneeva acne gel retails for $33.00 but the wholesale price is $5.09. The Exfozit facial scrub retails for $48.00, but the wholesale price is $6.99. You can sell these in conjunction with each other to make big $$$.
For weight loss, Orovo has the X-treme weight loss pill. It retails for $199.95. Wholesale price is $99.99. With so many people on the quest to lose weight, I could see a lot of customers wanting to try these. These pills are a combination of the top ten superfoods plus 40 additional ingredients. They have also added five fat burning ingredients in the formula.
If you have been looking for this type of home-based business, you need to learn more about Orovo!
I received an email today from ChaCha letting me know that the pay is changing for new guides. Fortunately, this doesn't apply to me.
According to the email, "Starting July 17th at 12:00pm EDT, all new, incoming Text (SMS) Guides will receive "Apprentice Pay" while they are developing their skills as Guides and becoming acquainted with the system. All Apprentices will receive $0.15 per transaction as opposed to the $0.20 that our full-fledged Guides currently receive."
This doesn't apply to any guides that are already guides by July 17th up to 11:59 pm.
I'm really glad that I'm already a guide!
As you've seen from my other posts, ChaCha is a fun and easy job to have. If you are USA based and have a high-speed internet connection, you can apply. If you decide to apply, please use me as a referral. It will ask for the referral email address which is; aprilsmith@newwavecomm.net
To apply, just check out the Become A Guide page at ChaCha.com
If you need any help, feel free to email me or post a comment.
I got my first spot in the "top guide of the week" for ChaCha ending June 29th. That turned out to be a nice, belated birthday gift. My birthday was June 29th.
I didn't hit the 100% accuracy, so I didn't win any cash. That would have been really nice. I noticed that the people that won cash straight out without a drawing had at least 2,000 searches. As a single mom with two kids, there would be no way I could ever have the time to work that much. It was still nice to be named as a top guide though.
ChaCha is really one of the best work at home jobs I've done. It's such a perfect fit for my situation. I can log in and out as needed. Not to mention, I don't have to work on the phone. To be honest, I am so burnt out on work at home phone jobs.
I got my first pay yesterday, so I know for a fact this company does pay.
I'm going to keep trying for at least a chance to be entered into a drawing at ChaCha! It's nice that they offer rewards like that.
If you'd like to apply for ChaCha, please read my post here.
Manager, Sales and New Business Development- FHBP REQ ID 161225 Disney
Consumer Products (DCP) is the business segment of The Walt Disney
Company that extends the Disney brand to merchandise ranging from
apparel, toys, home decor and books to interactive games, food and
beverages, stationery, electronics and animation art. RSM GLOBAL SALES: The
Global Sales Team is responsible for managing strategic business plans
and relationships with DCP’s global Key Accounts that drive retail
sales growth in support of the division’s long term business
objectives. This position will be based in a HOME OFFICE in Dallas/San Antonio, Texas. RESPONSIBILITIES: •
Work with buyers and licensees to increase overall Disney presence in
Grocery/Drug (Food, Health & Beauty, and Pets) Channel Key &
Strategic Accounts • Build strong relationships with buyers, management and marketers at assigned accounts to achieve business results •
Identify and support new business development opportunities within
existing Key & Strategic Accounts, as well as opportunistic account
development •
Work with category teams to engineer appropriate products for
Grocery/Drug channels which will differentiate Key & Strategic
Accounts in the marketplace • Collaborate with internal synergy partners to develop cohesive retail programs and unique opportunities for Key accounts • Maximize marketing budget by working with TWDC divisions and external partners • Develop ongoing cross Line of Business partnerships to drive cross category programs to maximize sales • Develop short and long-term objectives for assigned accounts • Collaborate with sales counterparts to maximize synergy and communication while minimizing channel conflict. • Represent account at line reviews, trade shows and sales meetings • Participate in the process of reporting quarterly updates, strategic planning and key retail templates • Effectively manage and process P&P (advertising & promotions) to drive sales and retail programs • Proactively solicit retail analytics information from account, internal partners and licensees to report on the business • Manage T&E expenses to budget EDUCATION: • College Degree; MBA (advanced degree) preferred REQUIREMENTS/QUALIFICATIONS: •
Must have 5 years minimum Grocery/Drug (Food, Health & Beauty, and
Pets) Retailing, Marketing and or Sales experience as well as an
understanding of the Licensing business. • Experience with a Consumer Products company managing multiple product lines preferred. • Previous experience presenting strategic recommendations to senior management preferred. • Ability to communicate effectively and tactfully, both oral and written • Solid Presentation experience • Ability to travel and function with flexible hours • Relationship building skills • Self motivator and decision maker • Negotiating skills • Able to analyze data and formulate results • Enthusiasm and passion for the business Be
sure to take time to explore all the exciting Disney Consumer Products
lines of business at http://www.DCPCareers.com and read about the
variety of people who have made DCP the success it is today. To apply, please click here!
When you work at home, it is so easy to find yourself working straight for hours without ever leaving the computer. Time just seems to slip by!
Sitting in front of the computer also makes it easy to snack. Some people find when they take on a computer job, they gain weight. If you love to snack, try to snack on something healthy. Even Doritos has baked chips now, and they are good! In fact, I like them better then the regular, higher fat ones.
All hope is not lost though! You can still have a diet program, even if you are stuck in front of a computer 8 hours a day. It's important to get up and move around on a regular basis. You'll want to get up for a few minutes every hour to stretch your legs. It's also important to try to get 30 minutes of exercise daily.
Some people turn to diet pills to curb the snack and hunger urges. If you are looking for diet pills, the following are rated the top ten;
1. Orovo
2. Nuphedragen
3. Noxycut
4. 7-DFBX
5. Curvatrim
6. Hydroxycut
7. AmbiSlim PM
8. TrimSpa X32
9. 72H Slimming Pill
10. LipoSeduction
To get all the latest and updated information regarding diet pills, you will want to visit consumerpricewatch.net. They have really in-depth descriptions on each brand, plus prices and more. Once you've decided on a diet pill you like, you can click on it and it will take you to the best website with the best order prices. It's shipped to your door.
Working from home is great! Make sure to get plenty of exercise, eat healthy, and move around when you aren't on the computer. If you are looking for diet pills, try out the link above!
'm looking to hire 40 people who can write approximately 20-30
articles per week as ghost writers. The length of the articles is not
as important as the quality of the content.
Once I receive your
application, I will send you some paperwork and an assignment for 5 articles, average of 500 words
each. You will be paid $6 per
article. Your articles will be
graded. If your grade is high enough, I
will send you another assignment at the rate of $10 per article. If
your grade doesn’t meet my rigorous quality standards, I will refer you to
another writing project manager who can assign you occasional work.
QualityGal@webuildpages.com
Subject line: New Writer Application (WAHM)
Please include the following information:
Full Name
Email Address
Mailing Address
PayPal Address (if applicable)
How many articles (~500 words) can you complete per week?
List up to 40 topics you enjoy or are knowledgeable about. (i.e. education, women’s health, budget travel, debt management, food, recipes, weddings, jewelry, home theater equipment, antiques)
I posted a blog entry a few weeks about getting hired with ChaCha. If you are interested in applying with them, please make sure to check it out by clicking here.
I've now been with the company for almost three weeks. I have to say, it's the easiest job I have ever had. Once I learned how everything works, it's pretty simple. You just answer the questions that are sent it.
Right now, I average between 4 - 5 dollars an hour. I know there are some people that make more, I just don't see how they do it! When the queries are back to back, I could see this happening. Usually for me though, they are not back to back. Regardless, it's an easy way to make legitimate money from home.
Overall, I really like ChaCha! Background noise doesn't matter because you aren't talking on the phone. Plus, you can work it from anywhere there is a high-speed internet connection.
If you're searching for a non-phone work at home job, try them out!
We are AccessionPR, a boutique PR firm going into our second year of
business with clients in the New Jersey and New York areas. We are
seeking to expand our business into several different niche markets and
are looking for experienced freelance public relations professionals
and writers to assist with client projects and act as virtual Account
Executives.
The ideal candidates will have 2 or more years of experience in one or more of the following industries:
-Nonprofit pr
-Fashion pr - Expertise in product placement and launches are a plus
-Small Business pr - law firms, accounting firms, lifestyle, real estate, financial, etc.
-Trade show publicity
We are looking for people that are creative, passionate and energetic
about helping entrepreneurs and small businesses grow and succeed. You
must be dependable, hard working, an "out of the box" thinker and open
to new and not-so traditional ways of marketing a business' products
and services.
Candidates can work remotely from home with a flexible schedule.
To apply, please email jobs@accessionpr.com
LivePerson is a unique service that matches people who have questions to the people who are qualified to answer them.
As a registered Expert on LivePerson, you will be listed according to your professional expertise and will be available for hire by any LivePerson client. You receive all the tools necessary to communicate with clients and colleagues — free!
To get more information, or to apply, please visit their website here.
